As most of you probably already heard, my grandfather passed away last Sunday, March 13th. His diagnosis of esophageal cancer was the main reason for me staying here, so I guess the condition of my stay was finally secured. On Wednesday and Thursday, we had a two beautiful ceremonies, worth the stressful and sudden planning we had to do.

On Wednesday, after an breif summary of my grandpa's life and achievements, they played a song called If by Bread, which I had never heard before, but whose lyrics in Japanese sounded cheesy enough. After it had played, everyone (at least every female in our family) was crying.

...And when my love for life is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me

If a man could be two places at one time
I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today
Beside you all the way

If the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die
I'd spend the end with you
And when the world was through

Then one by one the stars would all go out
And you and I would simply fly away

Honestly, if you are going to measure the success of your funeral by the number of tears, play this song. After this, each person in attendance took a flower up to the long table in front of my grandfather's casket. 360 flowers later, the family that decided to stay (much fewer than we had estimated) sat around and ate sandwiches and sushi.

Thusday (today), the ceremony had the same processions as Wednesday, plus a few more. Before the flower giving, two friends read their goodbye letters to him (and God, saying to set up a golf course, basketball court, and mini-bar for Kenji-san) and my grandma read a letter of greeting and thanks to everyone there. At the end, they opened the casket and everyone left put flowers around and on top of him.

After repeating What a Wonderful World a few times, they put on If again, and my streams of tears transformed into rivers. I felt totally distressed. All of the flowers were eventually used up and Jiiji's (grandpa's) face was the only thing showing when male family and close friends carried the casket to the hearse outside and we followed close behind. Nahna (grandma) rode in the hearse while my mom, aunt, substitute great grandma (Nao-chan), Jiiji's siblings and I rode in the hired cars to the crematorium.

This place was like a hotel. The incinerators looked like elevators.

We said our final goodbyes to Jiiji's body, watched his casket get sent into the incinerator, burned some incense, and said a few prayers. During our thirty minute wait, we were taken up to a room to drink more tea and eat more Japanese sweets. After sharing some stories, we were called down to the room where we left him. They opened the big oven and pulled out the platform where remains of his bones sat. (Nothing else.) This sounds kind of morbid, but I felt really relieved... happy even. Rather than the "here are the ashes of your late husband" of western cremation, the Japanese process lets family witness the transition between a body and spirit. Hmmm... how to explain without sounding like too much of a Buddhist... When he was a corpse, it was like a container for his soul. Seeing the scattered bones, it was sort of like the real Jiiji had been released.

They collected the bones into a metal box which was taken to the next room. A jittery worker went through the remains with chopsticks and a giant magnet to pick up the pieces of his belt and cyborg-parts. Eventually, the remains were ready and a pair of the family and friends there picked up a bone with chopsticks similtaneously (the origin of one of many Japanese cuisine taboos) and transferred it into the porcelain container where, eventually, all of his remains were put. After putting a vertebrae, his two eye-sockets, and cranial bone on top, they closed it up, put it in a box, wrapped it in a cloth, and covered it in decorative paper. We took the cars home, bringing what remained of Jiiji's body with us.

Now that it's over, the freedom that I sense for Jiiji is starting to dominate the sadness. I feel like I've taken a spiritual step up. Goodness, what a hippy this has made me...

I'm not going to school tomorrow, seeing as I haven't been able to do any of my work and I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway.

I put some photos here. Photobucket was being a bitch.