The adventure began on Friday morning. My Pa, Ma and I loaded into the Cadillac for a road trip to Colorado. The air-conditioning, which was the greatest of our worries, seemed to be in good working order for the first few hours and our drive to my second-cousin Natalie’s wedding in Fort Collins looked as though it might be uneventful. Right before stopping in the frightening town of Rock Springs for gas, the AC vents suddenly stopped functioning and we called Neal, our telemechanic, for advice. With a little dash-lifting and vacuum plugging, our mobile environment was conditioned once more. “Huzzah,” we exclaimed as we returned to the highway. “We shan’t roast in the hot Wyoming sun!”

Anyone who is familiar with our family’s history of cars would know not to expect this to be the last of our troubles. Outside of Wamsutter, the transmission started acting up and any attempt to shift into third or fourth gear was futile. We pulled into a truck stop and called Neal once more, trying to diagnose the problem by imitating and interpreting the noises the car made. There were no GM dealers or car rental agencies nearby, so we decided to try to make it to Laramie.

The car did fine as long as it wasn’t going uphill but right outside of Laramie, we came to a one-lane, six-mile stretch of uphill road and stopped halfway up when the car started billowing smoke. We opened the hood, replaced the leaking coolant with water and waited for the car to cool down. Eventually, a truck from a nearby construction site stopped to tell my dad that there were still about three hills until Laramie and gave him the phone number of a towing service located nearby. We got towed over the hills and drove into the Laramie GM parking lot. After two trips to and from the airport, we finally came back with a rental car, emptied out the handicapped Caddy and drove a funky-smelling Nissan Altima to Fort Collins.

By the time we arrived at the Fort Collins Country Club, the ceremony was over and the reception was well under way. We changed into our formalwear, entered the ballroom and greeted the family members who made it. I met the family’s two new babies, Kennedi and Jace, and gave my regards to the family of the bride. That night, we stayed at my dad’s cousin’s partner Thane’s house, which he had renovated on his own over a four-year period. It looked like a model home in that its interiors were really well designed and that it looked completely unlived in. We all talked until two thirty and crashed in comfy guest rooms.

In the morning, I was woken up by his adorable cat, Merlin. After a shower and breakfast, we drove into town to see my dad’s cousin Jack’s renovated childhood home where I doted over his obese cat, Naboo. (Back-story: This cat was brought into Jack’s veterinary clinic after it was ripped open by the fan belt of a car. The owners wanted to put it down but Jack decided to get its liver out of its chest, sew it up, rehabilitate it and keep it as a loving housemate.) After taking a tour of the house, we drove to Natalie’s parent’s house, where presents were being opened. Once all the boxes had been gutted and the gifts catalogued, Jack, Thane, our family friend Deb, my mom, aunt Ann, cousin-in-law Becky, her baby Kennedi and I went downtown for lunch.

Earlier in the day, my dad had left to return the rental car and pick up the Caddy from the shop. According to the mechanics, the transmission passed their diagnostic tests and the problems were all caused by a clogged fuel filter. We had our doubts that this was true but figured that at least we wouldn’t be getting ripped off if their diagnosis wasn’t correct. He met us downtown after lunch and we wandered around for a bit before heading south to Becky and my cousin Tanner’s house where we had a barbeque and stayed the night. In the morning, we played with baby Kennedi and got a visit from my aunt Cheryl and cousin, Kyle. My dad left for a conference in Denver around noon and we soon got a call that confirmed our suspicions; the car was acting up again.

Eventually, we were able to pry ourselves away from the cute, well-behaved baby and my mom and I got a ride with my aunt Ann to the llama ranch through Rocky Mountain National Park. In the morning, my aunt Susan, cousins-once-removed, Hailee and Josee, and family friend Kenny, showed up for our Flattops Wilderness Llama Adventure. After getting all of the panyards packed and llamas haltered and saddled, we drove to the trailhead and headed out. Josee and uncle Kevin turned back about ten minutes in and we braved the steady, uphill hike with plenty of breaks for water and air. (There isn’t much oxygen at 10,000 feet above sea level… or at least that was our excuse.)

After covering about three miles and nine hundred feet, we found a beautiful, secluded campsite by Hooper Lake. We set up our tents, dug a fire hole and set up the kitchen area with our coolers, propane stove, kitchenware and table. For those of you unfamiliar with llama packing, it is a luxurious way to experience the wilderness. Our meals consisted of sausages, bacon, eggs, freshly baked biscuits, alfredo tortellini, jambalaya, among other things and we brought a variety of wines, snacks, fruits and vegetables. I highly recommend llama packing. If you’re ever in northwest Colorado and are looking to do some hiking with llamas carrying the load, let me know.

After two nights and three days, we packed up our things, re-saddled the llamas, and were ready to load the creatures and go. Unfortunately, the aptly named Jumpy bolted and didn’t come back before we decided to leave him to nature. As we traveled back on the trail, we encountered a number of backpackers and fishermen who asked whether we were missing a llama. It turned out Jumpy had reached the trailhead ahead of us and was hanging out at the campgrounds located past the parking lot where the cars and trailers were. We tied the llamas to the trailers, unpacked and unsaddled them and eventually, Jumpy came up the road to join the group.

After getting back to the ranch, I took a much needed shower. My mom, Susan, Hailee and I slept at the house. Susan left early in the morning to get back to work in time. We did a few loads of laundry. I had run out of clothing and spent the time after my shower in bikini bottoms and borrowed clothes. Ann and I wrangled Beau, one of two reproduction-ready male llamas, into a different field because he was harassing the other males. According to Ann, he’s been pissy since he hurt his knee. I continued reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone to Hailee, but she is really only interested in the voices and not the story itself. We watched Shrek 2, which she disappeared in the middle of. I’ve been having fun in her place.

That brings me to this point in time. There is going to be a “camp meeting” (family reunion) this coming weekend, so I will report back once I return to Utah.

Dial-up internet is damned slow.

That is all for now.